Time to Talk Day

Today, Thursday 6^th February, marks the first Time To Talk Day, organised by the charity Time To Change. These 24 hours are being used to start conversations about mental health, raise awareness and work on getting the message across that mental health is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. One in four people are affected by mental health illnesses. Not only that, being a loved one, a friend, or a work colleague of someone going through a mental health problem is a very difficult role to play.

For me, Stephen Fry, King of words, sums up perfectly what it is like to be the person supporting someone who is suffering from a mental health issue:

“Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.”

Mental illness is scary, it’s unpredictable and most of all, frustrating. If someone has a physical illness, other people seem able to deal with it, maybe because they can actually see that there is someone wrong. However, there is still a strong stigma connected to illnesses of the mind. On the outside, that person going through a severe mental health issue could look perfectly well and healthy but on the inside, they feel like their world is going to explode.

From a personal level, but one I don’t wish to dwell on (as the statistics show one in four people are affected), I have learnt of the impact that mental illness can have on people and their loved ones. Living with someone and loving someone who is going through a mental health issue is beyond hard. You often want to get angry at that person, you want to rewind several years and you want that old person back. But the person that you love and is going through one of the hardest times in their life is experiencing something a million times worse. It is important to remember that the person is still the same amazing human being they were when they were well. Although I would never ever hide the fact the someone I love more than anything in the entire world has and is going through a really rubbish illness; it can be tough to talk about.

“Oh, just tell him to get over it.”

“A holiday will sort him out.”

“Just ignore it then it will go away.”

These are all phrases I've heard over the past year and are feelings shared by many about mental illness. I am not angry at the people that have said them; it’s the way our society is. That is why charities, such as Time to Change and Mind are vital and essential.

As Time To Change’s motto very much highlights, people need to talk. Even if they think it is nothing and “they are just being silly,” they should go to the doctors. If they have a counsellor at their school/university/workplace, they must book an appointment. I urge people to do this because talking about it is the first step on the road to recovery. It is also important to admit to themselves and to others that something is not quite right. Us British are terribly good at gritting our teeth and getting on with it. True grit and all that. But unfortunately, that doesn't put a stop to mental health issues going unnoticed. If you notice that someone you know may be acting different, talk to them about it. Maybe no one else has even acknowledged it and you are that person that can help them on their road to recovery.

Mental health issues can happen to anyone, believe me. Just because you are a strong, confident, successful, loved person, it doesn't mean you could not be affected by it.That person with the mental health problem could have all the drugs in the world to make them better but if they don’t have even that one person to talk to, it is going to be near impossible for them to see a light at the end of their blackest of black tunnel. Listening is a powerful source we all have but one which many take for granted. Life’s busy and we often forget that people are struggling privately.

Time to Change want people to start doing little things which can make a huge difference; be it talking over a cup of tea, texting or inviting someone out. Their aim is to spark a million conversations.

Today, across the country, there have been over a thousand events taking place in offices, schools, libraries whereby people can sit down with a cuppa and a friend and have a chat.

So take your friend, relative, work colleague to the pub, to the shops, to Starbucks, out for a pizza. Let me them talk and you listen. You never know, you could save someone’s life. 

Kat xxx